Feeling a bit blue today? Need a lift in your day? Read the true story below & follow the link to hundreds more true stories about how bad these sugar free sweets really are.
First, if you're familiar with Haribo Gummy Bears, you know you're getting a quality candy. They're chewy, have excellent fruit flavors, and are a satisfying snack when you just want something sweet. Practical jokers may wish to buy a bag of these.
Second, if you have ever had sugar-free candy, you also know that many fruit-flavored candies are sweetened with sugar alcohols so as not to alter the flavors. And sugar alcohols, when consumed in less-than-moderate quantities, can cause what's euphemistically known as "digestive upset."
The hell you say, Sherlock! Let's be truthful: Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears do not cause "digestive upset." They bring on colonic hurricanes, complete with gale-force flatulence and shattering eliminations that seem to come out of nowhere and are (mostly) liquid. I've taken citrate magnesium before, and had less explosive bouts of diarrhea than those brought on by Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears. They should give these out in place of enemas in hospitals, and then drape the patients in enclosed tarps.
Once again: the gummy bears are delicious. The gummy bears will also make you wish you'd never consumed them. If, like me, you're a sucker for gummy bears, you too will take the risk of your intestinal system collapsing (prolapsing?!) under the onslaught of Haribo's sugarless candy. But if not, do not buy these. Do not even LOOK at these. Run like hell, and if you can't have sugary treats, resign yourself to either cheating with the real thing or never having them at all.
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